Oh-my-fucking-god

I know, I know, I probably haven't written here in 2 months or something. Well, sorry, it's been summer, and nothing interesting happened.

Really.

I like, played Guild Wars, worked, and joined a live vampire the masquerade game. (and went to the L2 and otakuthon and plenty other meaningless stuff)

The Vamp game is the interesting part.

Because there is this guy (also named Dave, I guess I have something for people with that name..).. the first time I saw him I thought "Wow. Who is this? damn..."... and the second time I saw him I kept staring. and he sometimes stared back. but I thought I was hallucinating things.

Sexual tension gallore.

The third time I couldn't speak up because I was in game, in character, and he was flirting, very slightly, but it seemed so in character that 1, I didn't know if I was just imaginating things, and two, my character would never react to such a thing. So I didn'T react.

So much for the beggining. I added him on msn and 34 messages later he was proposing what ended up being a date.

Things freak me out. Things like he says he's independant but I don't know how much he really his. Things like he told me he loved/liked me sponteanously several times and I have no idea in what way he means it.

But for what I see he's just like me.

Hey, it *could* work out, don't look at me like that, I'm not getting caught up in another Charles like relationship, or anything of that kind.

I know myself now, I understood long ago that I can't fucking be honest and that I will always cheat.

It could work out.

But I don't know if I *want* it to work out.

But yesterday night had the most happenings. And I lost my concentration so often that I know it's not normal. I wasn't tired. At all. Why the hell did I kept losing concentration in the middle of a sentence, not remembering what I wanted to say?


That was strange. Somebody is playing with me, and if I talk to him about it, he will probably think it is his fault. It's not. I can sense it. Somebody or something is trying to reach me.

It might be Math. Who else? Math or Spikey.

Or Meru is waking up but that would be WAY too good. I need to talk to her though. To see if she s

God right now there isn't I need as much as people that believe in those things. Spikey, Meru, Nefara, Millenia, Maud, Mako-chan and everyone else that ever was involved in Operation Maria. Please come back to us. Now. We need you. We fucking need you. Stuff is *happening*.