I'm so sorry that I haven't written in so long..

It's not my fault, I've been so lost and busy. Busy with working like a machine for crazy hours over and over again at a job I kind of dislike. Busy making and trying to keep friends.

Busy crying because on my 18th birthday, the guy I was starting to love told me he just got back with his ex-girlfriend.

Busy throwing a tantrum because I got kicked out of CVM and I'm more than sad, I'm goddamn freaking lost and I have no idea where my life is going.

I wish things would make sense. I have to leave for my job in 10, and I really don't even feel like it. But job means money means days in Europe. And the sooner I get there the sooner I'll come back and FINALLY get an appartment. I just can't wait to be on my own.

Even if I will miss this place. Everytime I think about never roaming around my terr' at night anymore, it makes me sad. I wish there would be one last gigantic war before I left this world, one.. one or two weeks of constant fights, danger and adrenaline. When did UDC die, when did people stop caring?

Sigh.

I would, and will have loads more to say when I come back. More to say about how I ended up kicked out of Cégep, and who was that guy I was falling for anyways, and what's the story, and how rivalries are still sparking up and I am still very much alone, more than I've been for so long.

And how I miss Mathieu and how hard it was to me to say no to seeing him.

Yes, it's been a month and I really have so much to say. I'm 18 now and my life is shit. So much for "not being an angsty teen".