Terrified
I am so afraid.
I am turning 18 tomorrow. This would make any other teenager happy as hell. Finally, the power to go into bars without any fears, by cigarettes and alochol, everything.. being able to vote and to be a porn star if anything..
But I'm scared to death, and more than scared I am sad.
My whole social character, for all of my life, as been that of a kid, a brat, a street kid maybe, but still a kid. Being immature is the whole point of my existence. Damn, I'm turning 18 and my biggest fun would still be throwing rocks at cars.
People more and more tell me to be more mature and serious. To take my responsabilities. To be an adult since I'm taking the freedom an adult should take.
But where is the fun.. where is the fun to go out at night if it's not in secret? where is the fun drinking and going in bars if it's legal? what's fun about being so hardcore when it's normal because you are 18 and 18 years old people ARE as hardcore as you are? where is the fun having sex with people 10 years older than you if you're no longer underage?
Here ends my childhood.
This is the last night that I'll ever truly be myself and I'm alone because nobody is here. Nobody wants to see me.
I want to be seventeen forever. And I still feel like I'm thirteen. I'm going to miss you all so much. I love you guys
Memories..
1989 - 2007 baby... I will never die.
This is my legacy, what I'm leaving you all. My strenght (for all the broken hearts.. sylvie's death.. losing my friends..), my courage (for facing adversity for so long and standing proud of being different), my creativity (I am a dancer, an artist, and I'm someone else when I'm on stage), my ideals (forever anarchocommunistantiracist ).
I'm leaving you the streets, the dance, the stage, the tears, the laughs, the movies, the nature, the running, the fights, the yelling, the adrenaline.
Here stands a part of me that will never die. No matter what happens tomorrow. Here is a testimony: La Gamine was here, June 10th 2007. Loud as fuck, crazy as ever.
Adieu.
I am turning 18 tomorrow. This would make any other teenager happy as hell. Finally, the power to go into bars without any fears, by cigarettes and alochol, everything.. being able to vote and to be a porn star if anything..
But I'm scared to death, and more than scared I am sad.
My whole social character, for all of my life, as been that of a kid, a brat, a street kid maybe, but still a kid. Being immature is the whole point of my existence. Damn, I'm turning 18 and my biggest fun would still be throwing rocks at cars.
People more and more tell me to be more mature and serious. To take my responsabilities. To be an adult since I'm taking the freedom an adult should take.
But where is the fun.. where is the fun to go out at night if it's not in secret? where is the fun drinking and going in bars if it's legal? what's fun about being so hardcore when it's normal because you are 18 and 18 years old people ARE as hardcore as you are? where is the fun having sex with people 10 years older than you if you're no longer underage?
Here ends my childhood.
This is the last night that I'll ever truly be myself and I'm alone because nobody is here. Nobody wants to see me.
I want to be seventeen forever. And I still feel like I'm thirteen. I'm going to miss you all so much. I love you guys
Memories..
1989 - 2007 baby... I will never die.
This is my legacy, what I'm leaving you all. My strenght (for all the broken hearts.. sylvie's death.. losing my friends..), my courage (for facing adversity for so long and standing proud of being different), my creativity (I am a dancer, an artist, and I'm someone else when I'm on stage), my ideals (forever anarchocommunistantiracist ).
I'm leaving you the streets, the dance, the stage, the tears, the laughs, the movies, the nature, the running, the fights, the yelling, the adrenaline.
Here stands a part of me that will never die. No matter what happens tomorrow. Here is a testimony: La Gamine was here, June 10th 2007. Loud as fuck, crazy as ever.
Adieu.
posted by Pavlova @ 3:10 PM
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