Why?
Why is it always when I should be in class that I find the time/need to write here?
Dear journal, I do not remember what I told you last, because it's been so long. Like, a month. I'm so sorry, I should be writing everyday. There should be 365 entries a year, not 52.. or even less.
What happened? Strike and illegal occupation of the Cégep. Everything went well and the demonstration was kind of big, but only kind of..
Math stopped talking to me, than started again, and I'm still mixed up as hell, but I know there is no more hope. Ever since that night where he told me "It's your problem if you feel pain".. I can't forgive him.
Then I met new people, and old friends stopped talking to me, and some started speaking to me again. The usual, and I'm still pondering what style I should be up to this summer. I guess a mix of my usual three. I guess.
Dance show is coming up in less than 10 days, we're ready, but not quite, it's kind of weird and the tension is very high right now, and I'm not feeling very good about it. I just want it to be done, and over. Still I can't wait. Can't wait to be up on the stage once again. It's the only place I feel at home. It's the only place I can be myself without boundaries.
I should be in French class. I should.
Why does every guy out there think I'm in love with them? I don't fall in love. I just don't. I loved one person and he killed every drop of humanity that was left in me. I still love him. Kind of. Hopelessly. Endlessly.
I also hate being torn between the two sides in a war. Nobody that reads this will understand since I think none of my few readers go to the same Cégep I do.. But I swear I hate it.
And they government un-freezed the tuition fees.. it's now official.. How disgusting.. We're in need of some MAJOR strike. And rampage. I can't believe nobody reacted strongly yet. *Sigh*
Right now I just really don't know what to do. I don't even know what I want. I'm.. I'm drifting away from this students union shit, and my other cégep friends already gave up on me, and i don't fit in much elsewhere, and what will happen if I go back to Ste-Thérèse next summer? Because there will be nothing else to do.. Do they still hate me? Should I? Shouldn't I?
I promise I'll write again tomorrow.
Dear journal, I do not remember what I told you last, because it's been so long. Like, a month. I'm so sorry, I should be writing everyday. There should be 365 entries a year, not 52.. or even less.
What happened? Strike and illegal occupation of the Cégep. Everything went well and the demonstration was kind of big, but only kind of..
Math stopped talking to me, than started again, and I'm still mixed up as hell, but I know there is no more hope. Ever since that night where he told me "It's your problem if you feel pain".. I can't forgive him.
Then I met new people, and old friends stopped talking to me, and some started speaking to me again. The usual, and I'm still pondering what style I should be up to this summer. I guess a mix of my usual three. I guess.
Dance show is coming up in less than 10 days, we're ready, but not quite, it's kind of weird and the tension is very high right now, and I'm not feeling very good about it. I just want it to be done, and over. Still I can't wait. Can't wait to be up on the stage once again. It's the only place I feel at home. It's the only place I can be myself without boundaries.
I should be in French class. I should.
Why does every guy out there think I'm in love with them? I don't fall in love. I just don't. I loved one person and he killed every drop of humanity that was left in me. I still love him. Kind of. Hopelessly. Endlessly.
I also hate being torn between the two sides in a war. Nobody that reads this will understand since I think none of my few readers go to the same Cégep I do.. But I swear I hate it.
And they government un-freezed the tuition fees.. it's now official.. How disgusting.. We're in need of some MAJOR strike. And rampage. I can't believe nobody reacted strongly yet. *Sigh*
Right now I just really don't know what to do. I don't even know what I want. I'm.. I'm drifting away from this students union shit, and my other cégep friends already gave up on me, and i don't fit in much elsewhere, and what will happen if I go back to Ste-Thérèse next summer? Because there will be nothing else to do.. Do they still hate me? Should I? Shouldn't I?
I promise I'll write again tomorrow.
posted by Pavlova @ 6:06 AM
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