A moment of bliss
I'm here, sitting on a chair, in the middle of other people doing random stuff... And I don't even notice them.. I am in a dream, a blissfully wonderful bubble of an illusion... This is magical.
I saw Mathieu saturday night... And despite all my worries, my doubts... Everything was perfect, so perfect, so magical, so .. everything. I thought it wouldn't be like the first time, I thought it would be awkward, I thought we would be sad, shy, anything but..
No. Nothing of this happened. It was even greater than the first time. It was perfect, there is no better word to qualify that night. What can I say?
When was the last time I felt so good? So accepted? So beautiful? So.. worthy?
How can he see anything in me? He's so perfect. His eyes... It's cliché but what can I say? They are mesmerizing. His body, his lips.. just.. everything. I miss him so bad but... yet I'm happy, happier than I was for.. months, if not years.
The hugs, playing in his hair, and.. our first kiss. Not the way I had dreamed it would be but just as perfect. His hands fitting perfectly in mine, his hands so soft.. and gentle. I just couldn't keep my hands of him..
The long hours of simple ... sweetness, in the cold of the night. Half naked at 12 under 0, so crazy, so me-like..
But more than anything.. the words. Everything that he said.. everything... Each simple word made me feel worthy and desirable and alive. I am in love, truly. How can he see anything in me, how can I deserve someone like him..
He made me cry into happiness.. and I can't even believe he cried too.. It's.. totally magical.. it was and it still is. Our goodbyes.. Yes I cried again.. It was so hard.. to let him go.. Not knowing when I will see him again..
Please, you, God that I don't even believe in, tell me I am going to see him again soon. Please.
His smell still lingers on my black jacket.. This is so hard..
I saw Mathieu saturday night... And despite all my worries, my doubts... Everything was perfect, so perfect, so magical, so .. everything. I thought it wouldn't be like the first time, I thought it would be awkward, I thought we would be sad, shy, anything but..
No. Nothing of this happened. It was even greater than the first time. It was perfect, there is no better word to qualify that night. What can I say?
When was the last time I felt so good? So accepted? So beautiful? So.. worthy?
How can he see anything in me? He's so perfect. His eyes... It's cliché but what can I say? They are mesmerizing. His body, his lips.. just.. everything. I miss him so bad but... yet I'm happy, happier than I was for.. months, if not years.
The hugs, playing in his hair, and.. our first kiss. Not the way I had dreamed it would be but just as perfect. His hands fitting perfectly in mine, his hands so soft.. and gentle. I just couldn't keep my hands of him..
The long hours of simple ... sweetness, in the cold of the night. Half naked at 12 under 0, so crazy, so me-like..
But more than anything.. the words. Everything that he said.. everything... Each simple word made me feel worthy and desirable and alive. I am in love, truly. How can he see anything in me, how can I deserve someone like him..
He made me cry into happiness.. and I can't even believe he cried too.. It's.. totally magical.. it was and it still is. Our goodbyes.. Yes I cried again.. It was so hard.. to let him go.. Not knowing when I will see him again..
Please, you, God that I don't even believe in, tell me I am going to see him again soon. Please.
His smell still lingers on my black jacket.. This is so hard..
posted by Pavlova @ 8:31 AM
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