I'm sorry, it's been two weeks

Haven't posted in a while. Not that it had anything to do with me having nothing to say. I have loads of shit to say.

I slept with the first guy almost instinctively, because he acted like he wanted me. It wasn't bad. But I felt sick later on. Physically. Emotionally too, I guess. Because Apocalyptica's version of "Nothing else matters" was playing in the background. Because this was me and Arsenik's song in goddamn summer 05. And because it brought back memories of me crying at Apocalyptica's live.

I slept with the second guy because I was drunk, I had to prove myself I wasn't a kid anymore. This was so typical. Yet... it was fun. And I didn't feel sick as much. I just felt soar. I payed him a drink later on. How mature is that, eh. Tsss.

I slept with the third guy because I could. I felt proud after. And relieved. And it was good. I'm starting to get used to this, I guess. Whoring myself out. The problem with sex is that the more that you get, the more that you want. I thought after this I'd be good for at least a week. Groundbreaking news, friends: Sex is addictive.

Yet none of those guys were the man I love and guess this explains why I wasn't 100% satisfied. Yet he gave me a beautiful gift on friday night, a gift of words. I feel relieved.

I need to see him before X-Mas.

More blabbering later on, about TSO's live and the nintendo Wii.